I spend a lot of time assimilating to Minnesota. There are some things I didn't get at first but now love and defend/accept as fiercely as any native--hockey, snow, flatness, the Twin Cities (they really are two separate places). And so on. There are some things I don't get or didn't get to participate in and feel sad about--like the Great Halloween Blizzard of '91 that everyone talks about constantly. Or things I missed growing up, like skating on frozen ponds until dinner and going back out after (if people actually did that, idk). And knee hockey (which one of my coworkers constantly remembers fondly).
There are some things, however, that I still don't get, and am somewhat proud to not get. Things that mark me as an outsider, things I'll always treat like "whatever Minnsotans."
Here's a couple...
1. Lefse.
It's this Scandinavian holiday treat that is a thin "crepe" rolled up with butter and brown sugar. The "crepe" is made out of potato and flour and the whole thing tastes like a buttered, sugared cotton ball. I have no clue why this food causes ecstasy among all my friends. It's disgusting.
2. Minnesota sports. (except the Wild)
I really enjoy being from Pittsburgh whenever sports come up. Pittsburgh is insanely successful. Being a Minnesota sports fan is a horrible fate filled with disappointment and more disappointment. Suckas.
I also find it strange and disconcerting that the teams don't have the same colors. What?
3. Rut beer.
No picture because I have no clue what rut beer is. You guys mean root beer? True story: one time I took this canoe class and my professor was all "we're gonna go play rut beer ball" and I was like "rut beer ball? I wonder what kind of wild game that is." and we got to the spot and he whips out a cooler with root beer and the lightbulb went on and I was like "OH he means ROOT beer ball." It'd be better with alcohol, but basically you play kickball with an open can of ROOT beer.
I really thought he was taking about ruts though.
4. Hot dish.
I don't even know what to say, except the word "hot dish" freaks me out so much. You basically take all the leftovers in the fridge and throw them in a casserole dish (or a hot dish dish I suppose) and then eat it. And I have never met a hot dish I liked.
5. Bars.
Bars are the dessert cousin of hot dish. I do like bars, though I still find the word use very odd.
6. Duck, duck, gray duck.
(picture showing how the game is MEANT to be played)
Clearly the proper terms are "duck, duck, goose." I heard some children at a school learning this game one day, and it took all my willpower not to bust into the room and shout "IT'S DUCK DUCK GOOSE!!!!!!!!!" Because it is. I mean, how do you know the first two ducks aren't gray??
I'm sure there are more, but those are some things that make me grit my teeth when they come up.
5 comments:
gray duck?
But that's a gray GOOSE! Ducks don't go gray--they die rather than dye.
Hey, I've been commenting wrong for a dozen posts now. Can you tell how old I am?? :-)
I would like to say that being a TWINS fan is not an eternal disappointment unless you first became a fan in 2011 or 1992. Vikings, yes, Timberwolves, why would you suffer through watching one game? But the Twins actually tend to win things. Just saying.
And, I'm not really justifying "duck duck gray duck" because I think it's strange too, even though that's how I play, but apparently it started because some Minnesota teacher thought it would be a good idea to help kids learn colors by saying "red duck, green duck, yellow duck...gray duck!" I remember playing this once or twice, but it has mostly just morphed into "duck duck gray duck."
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