I really have no idea so have some cute recent pictures of Puck (26/30)

Went back to work today after a week off. I was dreading it. I've noticed that sometimes when I really don't want to go to a hockey practice or game, it ends up being a great night, so I was hoping it'd work the same with work, but didn't think it would...however, it did! Everyone was in decent moods, and it just seemed like things were flowing and we were working well together. Plus, I had some good comebacks which I don't usually.

Anyway, that didn't seem like enough for a blog post, so have some Puck.


She is constantly giving me this face, and it cracks me up.


"I may be a Puck, but these pads can't stop me!"

You know you work in a sporting goods store when... (13/30)

All quick fixes are done with hockey pieces.

From apartment stuff

Two display shelves held together by a helmet clip.

Amazing Shopping Trip Today (12/30)

My boss called me yesterday to tell me my pay check was in--nothing like your boss's number on caller ID to get the heart beating faster on a day off. I figured I'd go in today (another day off) and pick up my check and also pick up some gear. I played two games today--one goalie, one as a skater--so I got to try it all out right away.


about $260 worth of gear, that I got for about half that--AW YEAH employee discount plus trading stuff in!

Those are used goalie breezers up there. I only had one pair of breezers so I kept moving them between my bags and it was just not a good situation. Plus, player breezers aren't meant for tending goal (protection wise I was fine, comfort wise not so much--goalie breezers are shorter so they don't interfere with your leg pads. they are more protective, too, but for what I was doing in them, wasn't a big deal).

The new ones felt GREAT and I felt confident just pulling them on. We tied that game 3-3. I finally saw a little action after a couple slow games and started to get more comfortable--after giving up the third one, I really shut it down and I'm proud of a couple saves I made near the end of the game.

The other thing I needed was a decent stick. I've been using a cheap-o wood one--no clue how I've made it this long without an upgrade. The stick I picked up was originally almost a $200 stick (one notch below top of the line), it was turned in used, and I got it for about $60. The stick was AMAZING tonight at my player game, felt like the puck just found it. They say the stick is only as good as the person who wields it, but an upgrade from a twenty buck wood one to a $200 composite one DEFINITELY makes a difference.

We also tied that game, 0-0, but I felt great out there--a great shot, a great pass, some good D play, good work along the boards--so I wasn't too disappointed.

I wanted new elbow pads, but I'm kinda disappointed with the ones I picked up--didn't really like the old ones, but these aren't much better. :( Might just be one of those things. LOVE the shoulder pads though, they fit perfect. I wasn't even going to get those, but one of my coworkers was joking around like "what else do you need?" so I tried those on and absolutely loved them. It's tough to find shoulder pads that fit over a woman's upper body (and I've got a lot to fit over) but these just hugged me perfect. Very happy with them!

And the aftermath of two games in one day? Besides the two-hour nap I took in between?


I need a bigger apartment.

An Apology, and not much of a blog post (5/30)

Eek, I totally missed yesterday. I've been busy! Daylight Savings hour couldn't have come at a better time for me. Here's an idea of my schedule:

After having a couple days off...
Friday. Work 11-6pm.
Saturday. Work 9-4pm. Go from work straight to play in a hockey game. Go from game straight to my friend's house to watch a movie and hang out.
Sunday. Work 10-5. Play game at 7:15.
Monday. Work 1-8:30.
Tuesday. Work 11-5.

Then I finally get a day off--two actually. Then I work Friday then I get two more days off. Wooo!

I actually really enjoy not having a set 9 to 5 schedule. One of the things I hated most about last year was having to work 8 to 4 (or 6) every.single.day. and never having any variety. I missed college when I only had a couple hours each week where I *had* to be somewhere and I could figure out the rest of my time myself. This isn't as good as that, but it's better than 9 to 5. Although working retail is much more exhausting than other jobs--you're basically ON the whole time you're there, no time to be online or just sit.

Yesterday at work, being a Saturday, was SO BUSY. Plus, people seemed to be really grumpy all day for some reason. Today was steady but not busy, and people were more pleasant. Had fun with my coworkers, too, we had a good group.


Anyway. Promise I'll make up the posting day I missed. But later. I feel like it's three hours later than it is, not just one!

Telling my story

I've been having a hard time lately: I haven't been sure how to smoothly interject the "I grew up in Pittsburgh" into a conversation.

It wasn't too hard in college because you usually started every course each semester with a basic introduction of your name, where you're from, and your favorite pizza topping or whatever. Plus, it's college--you except people to be from elsewhere--even if like 60% of the school was from Minnesota and Wisconsin, it's still a conversation to ask where. So everyone kind of knew, without it being a big deal.

Last year, I tried to not blurt it out at work except when it was actually relevant--maybe I was trying to assimilate into Minnesota a little bit and act like a transplant, but a transplant so long ago it doesn't matter now. My mom wasn't born in Pittsburgh, but she's lived there so long I tend to forget--though I think I'm starting to understand her a heck of a lot more. It always seemed to me that she was basically Pittsburgh, because she lived in Pittsburgh MY whole life, but I really get it now, how long it took her to feel more "at home".

I DIGRESS.

Lately, though, it's been harder. I work in a hockey store which is like quintessential Minnesota, and, I mean, people don't have any reason to think I'm NOT from the area, you know? It's usually not too bad until I start chatting about my own hockey playing, and I get a lot of "how long have you been playing?" and asking if I played in high school, or "who" I play for now. Oh, uh, actually, you've never heard of my high school because it's 800 miles away SO WELL.

I struggled. I would awkwardly be like "Well, actually, I'm not from here? I'm from Pittsburgh? So like....? Go Penguins? I live here now and Minnesota rocks?" and just kinda stumble over what I was saying.

But I answer this question at least once a work shift, and it's getting a lot smoother: I'm originally from Pittsburgh, I moved out here about five years ago for college, and I started playing hockey out here because I got swept up in the hockey culture.

It's the short version, and it certainly doesn't tell the complete story. But it's a good summary and it leads to an open conversation going forward. And, more importantly, I'm comfortable and confident telling it. I'm comfortable explaining how I got to today and why I'm still here.

And I think it accurately portrays me as my Pittsburgh-Minnesota self. I had been having trouble because those questions felt like a jolt from wanting to fit in. But finding smoother ways to interject "I'm from Pittsburgh" and easily tell my story has erased that discomfort, that I felt even a week ago. I'm so proud to be from Pittsburgh and I love talking about it! I'm just glad I found a way to make it easy on myself, to make it natural. To present myself faithfully.

Though, back to that high school question, I'm still tempted to be like "have you heard of Mario Lemieux by any chance? I went to high school down the street from his house."

I mean, why not, right?

Kids, kids, kids?

I don't really believe in signs like they're from a higher power or the universe is trying to tell me something, because something isn't a sign unless you choose to see it as one. You bring the meaning, not the universe.

Almost all of my work experience up until now has been with kids. Several teachers I really admire have commented on my natural knack with them, but I've been actively passive about committing to kids as a career path. I knew I was good with them, but I never felt like that talent was something I really wanted to use. I didn't necessarily feel passionate about kids or teaching, it was just something I did.

A young girl came into the shop today for goalie skates...I didn't really do that much besides put them on her feet, but I kept up a conversation with her and her mom for the couple minutes we were together, and honestly? It left me wanting more. I spent all last year and all summer surrounded by kids in a school setting and I was looking forward to getting a break from them. Well, I've had a whopping six weeks away and I miss them so much already. I never expected that I would feel this way. Could be the low pressure situation, but that makes it more poignant--I can't walk away from kids. Even when they aren't my choice, there they are.

I don't think it's insignificant that she was 7, and 6-7 year olds (or around first-second grade) are the ones I keep working with the most--usually through no fault of my own! But I click with them. They're old enough to be able to answer questions and get jokes, but not old enough to give you attitude or be self-conscious. And they're young enough to be easily entertained and not be shy about thinking you're the coolest thing.

So it's not so much a sign, but a moment that shows me something I didn't know about myself, makes me realize something I was ignoring. I mean, if I weren't already a kid person, that kid could've come in my shop, I would've helped her, she would've left, and I'd move on with my day, no biggie. But because somewhere I'm wondering about my future working with kids, the moment meant more.

Maybe that's really all a sign is, though, a moment that makes you stop and rethink or proves to you something that you were on the fence about. I guess I just want to make clear that "the universe" or "god" didn't provide that girl with all this meaning, I brought a certain meaning to the situation myself.

Now I just have to figure out what to do with this sign...

Who I am now.

this photo actually has nothing to do with this post except that I bought these for work and I love them already

I went to an interview yesterday at a sporting goods store and it was totally awesome. I walked into the store and am greeted with a "hey, how was your weekend?" so I started rambling about my goalie scrimmage--lord, give me half a chance, EVER, and I will talk about hockey, especially my own hockey, so he asked and I'm about to interview for a sports job, I mean, come on, let me tell you about hockey. I didn't realize I was being interviewed then but I think, honestly, if I didn't have the job before I walked in, I got it right then.

Later, the first guy goes "your application was so impressive, you have all the things we're looking for, all the people skills that can't be taught." The other one goes "I overheard you talking to him, and I was like 'who is that, they are so dynamic and friendly and obviously passionate.'"

*full stop*

You know how wild that is? I used to be the shyest person--ever. I'd walk into a store and even if I did need help, I'd say no. Or if I said no and later needed help, I'd never ask. Small talk was a whole different language. I could answer questions shortly but never, ever ask them, could not figure out how a conversation starts, or keeps going, or ends. I had no idea how to represent myself fairly and often would just be like "yeah, totally" even when I didn't really think the same as the other person. It was basically impossible for me to disagree with someone, and it was hard for me to bring up a new subject.

I am not that girl anymore. I'm just not. Sometime between graduating from high school and graduating from college, things changed. I became friendly to strangers, I became confident, I became versed in small talk. More than anything, I started to understand how to be me. How to ask questions and not feel embarassed. How to disagree with someone and have it not be a big deal. How to word things so I don't come off as abrupt and rude and aloof, when really I was just insecure and shy and uncomfortable.

It'd be unfair to myself if I said I didn't know how it happened. Some of it, yes, was seemingly overnight. But when I think back to my freshman, sophomore, junior years in college--there were so many times I forced myself to go somewhere new, forced myself to ask a question, forced myself to talk to someone I didn't know, forced myself into a new hockey situation, and was proud of the smallest step towards confidence and social skills. I worked hard to get this ball rolling--though once I really got started, it was easier to keep the ball going, which I think is where the "overnight" feeling comes in. I stopped noticing every time I talked to someone, because it stopped being a big deal.

I've been feeling discouraged about looking for jobs (honestly I wasn't looking that long, but I was still frustrated) and feeling discouraged about my future, and thinking maybe I had to re-think who I am and want to be, and forgetting all the hard work I've done to be who I am today--or maybe feeling like it didn't matter. It wasn't paying off.

And it just did. I was able to fill out a couple questions on an application, and walk into a store and come out with a JOB because of, basically, who I am and how well I am able to represent myself.

I could not be a single ounce prouder of myself than I am right now. I rock, and I know it--and more importantly, I know exactly how to show it.