I'm baaaaaaaaaaack!

One of the reasons that I don't post a lot is even when something happens, I don't like writing about it if I don't have pictures. And I don't always take pictures. And sometimes I take pictures but don't feel like going through them and uploading them... Anyway.

I bought a NEW LENS today! Very exciting. I've gotten tired of my kit lens, which is a 18-55mm 52mm 3.5/5.6 lens. The new one is a Nikon 28-80mm 58mm 3.5/5.6. So it has a bit better range, it's a bit more wide angle, and it's much smaller and lighter. Partly because it doesn't have vibration reduction. Also, the auto-focus is not compatible with my camera. AF was weird at first when I switched to digital since my film camera never had that, but now I'm used to it, so we'll see. Anyway, the lens was only $43 post-tax because it ended up being on a bit of a sale. AND I have 30 days to try it out and return it. Low-risk situation.

I think part of my issue is that digital photography has a different philosophy than film (for me). With film, I'd shoot a roll of 36, usually only one shot per subject. Maybe two. I'd spend a little more time setting up the camera/framing/composition to take each picture, and I'd usually come out of my roll with just three or four (more on a really good day) that I actually wanted to print. I don't remember feeling any remorse for the compositions that didn't work out. It was about the final finished art. And the process of getting it. I really miss darkroom time.

With digital photography, I'm not as into the "art" aspect as I am into attempting to preserve memories or places. I want each picture to come out perfect--I'll take ten of one thing and try to choose the best later, and I feel disappointed if I don't really like any of those ten. I'm less forgiving if something I was trying to shoot ends up just not working.

I think I would enjoy myself more and use my camera more and like the outcome more if I could think of digital with a philosophy more akin to my old film mindset. With all that being said, I think that being forced to manual focus is a GOOD thing because I think it may help me take better pictures. Even if some of them will inevitably turn out to be out of focus.

Regardless, getting a new toy makes me want to take more pictures! I had about 25 minutes between buying the lens and needing to leave for work, so I took a random little walk and came out with some fun things.

Valentine's Day

Here's the thing: I'm pretty happy being single. It's the same reason I'm pretty happy living alone, and didn't like having roommates in college: I'm an introvert and I'm really particular about how I spend my time. I need a lot of alone time. I don't like to plan things in advance. I spend a lot of time in my own head, and I'm so used to that. It's hard to picture someone outside taking up a huge spot in my life.

I'm somewhat selfish. I don't like compromising and I have strong opinions.

I'm a giant believer in having to be completely comfortable and happy being single and being yourself before you can love someone else. And not "happy" in a sense of being resigned, but actually truly happy. Which I am. Maybe too much. I like doing stuff alone. I've gone solo to museums, the zoo, movies, baseball games, hockey games. I've traveled around Spain alone and considered trips to other places alone. I'd rather be by myself than with someone who is going to ask dumb questions or make me split my time, or whatever.

I haven't had a ton of relationships, and part of my problem is that I seem to have always been in them for the wrong reasons, and I don't think I've ever been with someone who was remotely right for me, at the right time. So maybe that's my real hang up on relationships. But then again, it's hard to picture finding someone who would be all the things I need. I can see myself falling in love, but it'd have someone pretty spectacular. One of my friends is in this amazing relationship, where they forgo basically every societal relationship pressure and just do their own thing. I admire the way they define for themselves what it means to date someone and to be in love.

It irks me that society demands that you can only truly be happy if you're in love. That the default state of humanity is to be in love with someone of the opposite sex--and then this is how the path of your relationship will go, we will tell you the proper order of things and how you will feel at each point. I wonder how I would feel if society didn't have this pressure. Maybe I'd be more inclined to be in a relationship because I'd feel more like I was choosing it. I wouldn't be so stubbornly against doing "the normal thing."

There was a point when I was a little bit lonely, which I didn't realize until I got my cat Puck and suddenly I felt like "how did I survive so long all alone in here?" And I realize the cliche, I do, but she is the greatest thing in my life, so who needs love?

I suppose my current conclusion to love is that I will/would be quite content to be single forever. I'm quite fine with that and I'm tired of other people/the world making me feel like I shouldn't be, or all knowingly, "oh, you'll change your mind someday" or whatever. Ugh.

Happy Birthday to Me!

So today was my birthday...I love my birthday.



My best birthday ever was when I turned 17. The Wednesday before, I had just moved to Maine for a semester. My birthday was the first Sunday while we were there, and it was just a perfect day--the first of so many while I lived there. My mom had sent a bunch of presents with me when I left, and I opened them one at a time throughout the day--which is the greatest way to open presents. I remember really loving them, too. I got a birthday s'more from one of my teachers, who had a bonfire going almost right out my front door. I got an amazing colorful HUGE card (more like a banner really) from my cabinmates. It was a gorgeous sunny but chilly winter day (my favorite type of day).

That birthday always stands out to me.

None of them before then I really remember, though my mom always made birthdays fun in our house. I turned 21 and 22 in Spain (I wasn't there a year, I went there two Januarys in a row) which had their fun moments.

I'm not really into having a "party", I just like to do fun things and have the day be memorable. I just saw my friends last weekend because they came to one of my hockey games and we had dinner, so I was okay with not seeing most of them.

My cat cuddled with me twice this morning, which is unusual. It was like she knew. :)

I went grocery shopping in the morning....yay. Bought myself a cake and some flowers though. One of my friends met me around 11 for brunch at one of my favorite restaurants (Twisted Fork), which was excellent.

I had to work 1-8:30 so that was not so great. It wasn't terrible, though--could've been worse. Every time I looked at my phone, I had a text or a tweet or a Facebook message and it was so great to hear from everyone. I also had my mom and brother call me within like the same five minutes--called my mom back on my break and my brother after work.

I got off at like 7:50--we were slow and my boss wanted to send someone home, so he let it be me since it was my birthday!

I had two packages from my mom waiting for me.



And I opened the package my brother sent home with me at Christmas.

The stuff that was in both of them, plus two cards from an aunt/uncle and one of my grandmas:


My brother gave me a pig whisk, a chef brush, this ridiculous Brian Trottier coin he found in his closet from a 1998 Penguins game, some awesome Tupperware measuring cups, and the best shirt ever--it's a cat kneading bread. LOVE IT!

My mom gave me everything else: kitchen container (I asked for it), the book Hugo was based on, Swiss Army knife, St Paul Almanac, Bananagrams, sports scrapbook paper (I don't even scrapbook but this paper makes me want to), a necklace, and the picture of a cat who looks like Puck.

I tried showing it to her, but she was much more interested in the tinsel that it was packaged in....she's a cat, what can I say.

Interested to see what 24 brings!

Looking Back

My resolution in 2011 was to visit one new place each week. I actually did okay for awhile, but then I stopped keeping track and pushing myself to keep it up. There were a couple places I planned a dozen times to visit, but never did (notably the State Capitol)

Some things I did accomplish:
Went to the Super Bowl with my mom in February.
Met some Wild players and got a bunch of autographs.
Traveled to Vancouver.
Visited three new NHL rinks (Vancouver, Chicago, and Pittsburgh).
Started playing goalie.
Survived a summer at home with my parents, but barely.
Got a long-term'ish job in Minnesota. Long term as in, it's the first job I've had without a specific end date, though it's not really a "real" job.
Adopted my cat.
Went to a one-day conference on my favorite topic of all time.
Kept up with this blog fairly well!


In terms of who I am and figuring out what I want in life, it was kind of a stagnant year. I was happy for most of it, though, content with day to day life. I think some of the biggest things for me were this fall, when I returned to Minnesota and adopted Puck, got my Minnesota license and registered my car here. I made a declaration that I was gonna stay here for awhile. Who knows if that'll pan out or not...

And a happy new year...

I think I've only ever spent New Year's Eve at my parents' house in Pittsburgh. It was fun as a kid, and then there were a couple years when it was like "okay, it's midnight, and I'll be up for another three hours..."

Anyway, I wasn't really planning on doing anything because I worked all yesterday and I had to work all today. But I texted my best friend Kirstine--she's always good for last minute plans. I went over to her place and her boyfriend Mike and his friend made dinner for all of us, we watched a movie and played with cats.



Then we went outside to a little frozen pond in a shallow in the woods (and when I say "pond" I mean "body of water outside and bigger than a bathtub but not by much"), cleared off a piece of it (partly with our sticks) and played boot hockey to ring in the new year. Half of the pond was underwater (it had been raining) so we used the part that had gotten snow when the rain turned to snow, and by the time we were done, our rink was more water than ice, too, because it warmed back up a bit.


I really wanted my camera, but it was too wet so I took one cell phone picture to commemorate.

It was dark except for the snow, it was warm at around freezing, it was good friends and a good spirit of competition and fun. It was the most Minnesotan thing I've ever done, ever. Possibly the most Minnesota experience there is.

We were trying to make it to the new year, but couldn't stick it out any longer and went back inside. Someone looked at the clock and it was 12:02, so we all said "Happy New Year", decided to say we were playing hockey to ring it in, and then I went home and everyone went to bed because we're old now.

Hopefully within the next couple days, I'll get a chance to write about the past year and the year ahead, but for now, I am quite content with the time in between. :)